FREECREDIT REPORT DOT COM

THE PIRATE
They say a man should always dress for the job he wants
So why'm I dressed up like a pirate in this restaurant?
It's all because some hacker stole my identity
Now I'm in here every evenin' serving chowder and iced tea

Should have gone to free credit report dot com
I coulda seen this comin' at me like an atom bomb
They monitor your credit and send you email alerts
So you don't end up selling fish to tourists in T-shirts


THE NEW CAR
Well I was shoppin' for new car, which one's me?
A cool convertible or an SUV?
Too bad I didn't know my credit was wack
Cuz now I'm drivin' off the lot in a used sub-compact

F-R-E-E that spells free credit report dot com, baby
Saw their ads on my TV thought about goin' but was too laz-ee
Now instead of lookin' fine I'm rollin' fat
My legs are sticking to the vinyl and my posse's gettin' laughed at
F-R-E-E that spells free credit report dot com, baby


I MARRIED MY DREAM GIRL
Well, I married my dream girl, I married my dream girl
But she didn't tell me her credit was bad
So now instead of living in a pleasant suburb
We're living in the basement at her mom and dads

No we can't get a loan for a respectable home
Because my girl defaulted on some old credit card
If we'd gone to free-credit report dot com
I'd be a happy bachelor with a dog and a yard

(offer requires enrollment in triple advantage)